As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
