dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
