addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
