I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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