Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
