I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
