Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
