y did u give ur computer a hand job?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
