office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
