I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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