wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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