Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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