She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
