So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
