he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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