Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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