what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize