My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize