try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Randomize
