You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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