is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
