He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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