If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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