Jerry, you need to find god
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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