I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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