At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
