I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
