im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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