first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize