Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(404): View more from Georgia

My penis looks like a roll of pennies

(303): View more from Colorado

Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

(404): View more from Georgia

Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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(404): My penis looks like a roll of pennies (303): Oh. Ok. I get the hint. (404): Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird... http://tfl.nu/xs9r

Replies (15) Good night (712) Bad night (3235)
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(720): View more from Colorado

It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.

(920): View more from Wisconsin

You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.

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(720): It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love. (920): You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit. http://tfl.nu/9jaf

Replies (26) Good night (1292) Bad night (2850)
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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.

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(314): I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis. http://tfl.nu/ymag

Replies (16) Good night (5079) Bad night (717)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.

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(405): Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon. http://tfl.nu/zm69

Replies (34) Good night (8378) Bad night (1103)
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(309): View more from Illinois

I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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(309): I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time (1-309): I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating http://tfl.nu/74eg

Replies (21) Good night (5106) Bad night (1436)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

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(732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i

Replies (23) Good night (6102) Bad night (1327)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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(601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj

Replies (7) Good night (2289) Bad night (950)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.

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(403): Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one. http://tfl.nu/ek2z

Replies (15) Good night (3125) Bad night (842)
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(360): View more from Washington

I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.

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(360): I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show. http://tfl.nu/dv9s

Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (893)
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(716): View more from New York

Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?

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(716): Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose? http://tfl.nu/8x2f

Replies (13) Good night (844) Bad night (1725)
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(407): View more from Florida

I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.

(646): View more from New York

LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES

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(407): I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair. (646): LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES http://tfl.nu/6j0d

Replies (6) Good night (1281) Bad night (579)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

Replies (2) Good night (1328) Bad night (469)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT

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(306): someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT http://tfl.nu/vqqx

Replies (6) Good night (423) Bad night (743)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?

(1-519): View more from Ontario

Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?

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(519): Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!? (1-519): Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic? http://tfl.nu/6rsm

Replies (1) Good night (906) Bad night (493)
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(440): View more from Ohio

She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her

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(440): She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her http://tfl.nu/q6nk

Replies (1) Good night (238) Bad night (621)

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