Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
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When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
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I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?