Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend