This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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