So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Couch. On fire.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
