Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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