if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
