...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
