Will you blow on my dice?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
