wanna go halves on a baby?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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