Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
