Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
