The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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