he puts the penis in happiness.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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