I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
