I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
