Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize