How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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