im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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