he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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