I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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