I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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