There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
