This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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