ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.