i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.