Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis