Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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