I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
