You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
