I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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