He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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