just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i now understand why vodka
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