You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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