Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
