Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
